geLa's stupid blog

2006-07-17T22:20:00.000+08:00

It’s gross!
It’s damn gross I tell you.
Motherfucker!
Don’t be a hypocrite!
Cause if u try to be one, making use of me when in need only, I tell you.
You are damn gross. It’s 100% grossness that I’ve never seen before.

Fuck you.
Wake up before the call is too late.
Say that I’m a burden.
FINE!
Seeing me makes you feel like puking or wadsoever that how you phrase it.

Time and again I try to smile and patch things better up.
And see?
All I get is all this fucking shit!

I just don need a fucker like you.
A fucker with a fucking attitude and fucking not waking up yet.
All you guys know how to do is to say that people’s childish.
Fucking wake up your bloody idea and THINK!
Who’s who?

Staring up so high to the ceiling when people wanna smile at you.
Think you’re some great shot huh?
Ha.
You’re just human too.
Come on.
Don’t think so highly of yourself.
The more people you hate, the more others hates you.
So bloody hell wake up.
Cause no one is there to give you guys a wake up call anymore!

All you know how to do is to always say the word “fuck”
You know what???

Let me tell you now.
“FUCK YOU”

I’m a burden?
Quiet and lighter with one less burden huh???
Ha.

Thanks man.
Luckily I’m better of without you.
Cause you’re one narrow guy.

I thank god that I’m not with you.
I thank everything for not being with you.
I thank everyone for being my fren except you.

I don vulgar.
But thanks to you.
I’d now.

i feel so grossed out now la!
Damn it!

*I’m sorry about all the words above.
But I feel so gross and dirty now

2006-06-11T00:57:00.001+08:00

9th June'2006.

Once again.
The standard Fridays.
I'm loving it!
went to swim even though it's drizzling.
Same community. Except kenny. he went around for some monkey business.

I've yet sign up the photobucket thingy.
so cant upload the pictures here.
GL is so hilarious!
He's noisily merry.
Days won't be fun if it's not for him.
I just cant stand him at times.
cannot take it. he just does stupid actions la.
Contradicting, that's what we all like about him
All in all... just to make us laugh.
Hahas.
Hey! PLS stop gaying with that pang.
Susu will be jealous.!!!
:P

Darling has been listening, to everything.
Telling me, everything.
Others are uncomparable to her.
she's simply my all time fav.
but one thing about her. she's likes to keep me in suspense :S argh....
(gal. your blog cant be read. Pls check it or something. in case i don't remember to tell you.)

Pang the pingpongpiang.
"eh. come on la. it's Pang_pankpingpong leh. donnoe don't anyhow say leh. -_-"
"shuang ma !?!? >.<" (His bloody favourite sentance now.)
"Gela: eheh. shuang la!!!"

lol!! omg!!
u bloody woman... i know you will be reading this...
STOP SAMPATING IN FRONT OF ME!!!
AH!!! *falls away...
there's definitely a time where you'll have an admirer...
and if u do...
don't ask me any questions aii right?
cause i won't answer.
i'll just say....
"SHUANG MA?!?! >.<"

To baby:
Thank you for everything.
searching high and low for me/ for wad is missing.
i just love the sweetdoings with you.
Whatever i said. you try to comply to it.
I just loved the place you bought me to.
I understood every word you said.
I could have just stood there with you all night.
Longer. Only if there's a longer night.
and a stagnant one.

It's so amazing that how you made me blush and fluster.
Making me never wanna say goodbye.
Breathing and taking in the every moment with you.
It's just simply love that you are giving me.
And i'm receiving it.
It's just all amazing.
Cause it's difficult to make me love you.
But you did it.

You said: "there's more to come"
I say: "i'm looking to more of these nights"

(Just about you and me)
(i once told you. i'm indefatigable of you. remember??? :))

Angelia_pitipong:
The unconditioned love people is pouring onto me.
How lucky i feel now.
I reminded myself:
"one must be generous with praises"
"passionate love of share"
"Seeing the less of negatives and more of the positives of others"
"Be ready when you are suppose to"
"small details are really important"

But most of the times, some people just missed out the minor details, leading to them in missing out the big opportunities.

2006-06-11T00:57:00.000+08:00

2006-06-08T21:09:00.000+08:00

baby.
you know i love you.
how much it is? i cant level.
it just increases as days goes by.

many a times i wanna hold you close and hug you tight.
whispering words into your ears.
seeing you through the dark night.

but i cant...
i so wanna try it out.
about you and me

but i cant...

i don't want history to repeat itself.
friends are my everything.
you are my precious.

it's better to be short and sweet.
rather than waiting, getting nowhere.
aimlessly waiting.
aimlessly thinking.

but i just can't...
i can't do it...

i just don't have the courage again to pick it all up.
i might not have the strength.
i'm afraid of histories.
i hate histories.
it just make me flood with tears, if histories were to repeat again.

you are really nice.
after so long you are still holding on.

i moved on in my life with beginnings.
you brought me along with you.
you make me wanna see you everyminute.

but i just cant...

bear to let history repeat and hurt you once again.
leaving you in a state of sorrows and sadness.

neither do i want to drag you, myself and freinds on.

but i can't...

i can't decide...

i don't know when i'll be able to do it...

i can't decide...

(i'll just stand somewhere away just looking at you... someday)
(but one thing that i can decide...
thank you for being part of my life and thank you for loving me)

DANIEL BEDINGFIELD
"If you're not the one"
If you're not the one then why does my soul feel glad today?
If you're not the one then why does my hand fit yours this way?
If you are not mine then why does your heart return my call
If you are not mine would I have the strength to stand at all

I never know what the future brings
But I know you are here with me now
We'll make it through
And I hope you are the one I share my life with

I don't want to run away but I can't take it, I don't understand
If I'm not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am?
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?

If I don't need you then why am I crying on my bed?
If I don't need you then why does your name resound in my head?
If you're not for me then why does this distance maim my life?
If you're not for me then why do I dream of you as my wife?

I don't know why you're so far away
But I know that this much is true
We'll make it through
And I hope you are the one I share my life with
And I wish that you could be the one I die with
And I pray in you're the one I build my home with
I hope I love you all my life

I don't want to run away but I can't take it, I don't understand
If I'm not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?

'Cause I miss you, body and soul so strong that it takes my breath away
And I breathe you into my heart and pray for the strength to stand today
Cause I love you, whether it's wrong or right
And though I can't be with you tonight
And know my heart is by your side

I don't want to run away but I can't take it, I don't understand
If I'm not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am
Is there any way that I could stay in your arms

THANK YOU, Gela

2006-06-06T20:07:00.000+08:00

To yesterday's history:
i'm so happy. i'm so glad.
had a talked with them yesterday.
and we all decided to put all to an end.
as in all the unhappiness.
though it all takes time, i promise no hard feelings.
contridict, but i felt better after all that.

and thank you. for all the misunderstandings. though it all came a little too late. but xuan. thank you and jo thank you too.
:)

i see the clear blue sky.
pretty life.
pretty people.
pretty smile.

My best friend told me: "always look on the bright side of life"

To present today:
HAPPY BIRTHDAY DADDY!!!
06/06/06
how cool!
hahas.

POO lab today.
hmmmms..
line tracing is really boring. and am damn slow with it.

nothing much in comment.
only that...
*whenever i see him, i smile.

To future tomorrow:
i just need them.
i just need you.
i just want me.
:)

signed off, pitipong.

2006-06-04T21:35:00.000+08:00

at times she just doesnt understand that this is the 20th century.
she's old, i understand. mindset with the oldeeen doings i understanding.
what i ask of her is to stop comparing others and me when i tried so hard to do everything right.

i buy her snacks, i do whatever she says.
i love her. i really do.
but sometimes when she gets too bored and got nothing to do. she nags and finds somethings to fight with me.
fark it!
she says that i travel and buy all of my own things.
i didnt even buy her any.
fark it!
i bought like so much food can?
like a $80 of food can???
and not enough?
what can i buy her?
my sister bought her earrings, she dont appreciate.
how on earth am i suppose to do???

i guess she just doesnt appreciate somethings u do for her.
she'd so damn nice at times. but argh.
sometimes she drivs me crazy!
especially these daes.
donnoe wad's up with her la.
say if she hospitalised. everyone will be afraid of sending her in. cause of $$$
come on loh. who would abandon her.
i got patiences limit too...
i need to explain at leat 4 times for everything i say.

when i dont speak. she nags.
when i do in a unsettled tone. she nags too..
saying i got no patience.
wtf!
i'm running out of patience these daes.

she used to be like that before grandpapa passed away.
then after he pased away.
she's really good.
now?
i guess.. back to square one.

compare. saying i'm not good. saying i'm this and that.
just shut it up if u don appreciate me!
stop coming in and out of my room to nag.
or i'll start screaming.
dont try me.

P.s:
i was just pissed.
much better now.
just needa complain.
i'll be gd.
just by not answering back.
tat's it.
tat's tat.
leave it.

was a pretty day w/o complications.
and she just had to make my day bad.
it's been daes since she's like tat.
arrgghhh.
help!!

2006-06-04T00:54:00.000+08:00

To yesterday:went IMM yesterday. as usual. same group of people.
Yaling,guanling,pang,kenny and me!
:)
bought darling a daisy.
just wanna get this darling of mine to smile.
and indeed. she did.!
so sweetie sweetly.
No words can express how much i love her.
just the way she is.

Fun and work.
it's wad i get from them.
i never get enough of them.
especially my new best friend kenny.
especially my daling and guann lingggg.
especially my old friend pang
and
especially him mt.

guann linggg the clown.
he's damn cute i tell you.
cant imagine life without his laughter and jokes.
just looking at his face makes me laugh.
and he likes to mimic my laughter. -_-.
funny friend indeed.
But seriously, i wont doubt him about anything.
cause he makes me believe in him.

To mt:though i don spend as much time with u anymore.
but still... we're good.

To zhen and fung:pls let me see you gals soon!
catchie catch catch.

To mel,sam,nic:pretty ladies pls stand up.
i wanna zouk! and losta coffee!
:D

To Today:swim.tan.laughter.jokers.food.
it's all i need everyweek.
the medicine to destress.
the new slacking place.
and the new beginning.

i'm loving it.. yea yea...
:D

Ps:
pang and i had a little chat.
"The story about friends":
that 8 years down the road.
holding arms, down town.
frens of guys and gals.
happily entrusting.
just genuine friendship.
talking about latest gossips.
talking about life.
talking and talking.
the differences.
the weird bonds that holds us still...
it's all just about my perfect friend.
PANGIE.

To Tonight:
met new best friend (kenny)and ate at esplanade.
the makansutra. (is tat how u spell it??)
oh wells. anyways..
it's gd i tell u!
lol
the food there. yums!
the rotijohn,fried rice,and the black noodle (i donnoe wad's that called)
it's good!
:)
walking along the river after donkey years.
it's pretty.
noticing the bits of changes in singapore.
sat along.chat real long.
baby, tell me about this.
that's what i like about it.
sat all long. chat real long.
chat till someday when we're old.

To bedtime:
I'm turning in.
you too!
whoever's reading this
:)
Love, me.

2006-06-01T21:30:00.000+08:00

I used to be what i'm supposed to be.
I learnt alot and am terrified of falling again.

Whatever happened, happened for a reason.
and it's something good.

I made new friends and i moved on into a new phase of life.
Where old ones still remains. but some totally forgotten.
so long as you are nice to me. i'll be to you.

I value you even if you've got no words of wisdoms, care and losing soul.
you aint a loser. believe me. i love you for who you are and please come to me.

if u hate me. please try to love me.
for there's no hates and no lies to make.

i love my life now and i want it to be this way.
the friends that i adore. they simply made me whole.
They shower me with plenty of love that i hadn't receive for long.
I thank them.
They made me moved on...
They made me move on....
:)

for now. i experience more!
things tat i had nv really done before.
They make me excel in almost everything.

And i thank them.
3 hims and 1 her.
without them, my life seemed incomplete.
i wanna see them everyday and every now and then.

i got 2 more new friend!
The pig and the tig!
the pink and the yellow
:) thank you.

Grandpa.
i miss you.
please bless grandma from where you are.
make her healthy, make her strong.
For i don wanna lose another one like you.
i miss you so much.

darlings: you know who you guys are. i love you too...
*kisses

2006-01-31T01:12:00.000+08:00

in life, people come and go.
new people come and the old one goes.
u tired to do everything u could, but fruitless.

families, friends. they should be the one making me smile.
but they failed therir mission.
they didn't bring smile to me, rather than,they brought pain.
pain that hurt and can nv be forgotten and forgiven.

friends are there when in need. but not all.

sometimes, i wonder, it might be so much better if there's no angela.

angela has frenz, but still, she feels like she's got no pillar.
no one to relie on.

th

2005-08-17T17:22:00.000+08:00

it's weird coz for the 1st time i gotto stay at hm for a month. it's not like i'm sick or anything or exams, it's just abt this month. all abt this shity month. rules like to be home before 12. like wth.

i tired to reason out with mummy saying tat i just turned 18! and u noe. *blasting music, drinks, friends is all i need. i can't even go for once out of so many times this month.
i told her i'm not afraid, though i experienced something different this time but No means no.!
wad can i say if she says no?

i'll just be homeless if i insisted on going outta club.
and life's screwed up, all responsibilities, it's so tight to even breath.
i'm pissed. with myself and whoever tat's gonna make me scream.

sch and all... it's messy,and complicated.
all the tight scheadules.

wad's happening man.

2005-01-23T22:57:00.000+08:00

If u ever walk pass me...
Please slow down ur pace and let me noe u better..
So tat i can treasure you...

i'm not arrogant, neither would i gobble u up...
Just let me noe u better...

If u think u're just a "hi","bye" fren to me,
No...Please slow down ur pace and let me noe u better...
So that i can treasure u...

Just like how i regretted not spending quality time with grandpapa...
I treasured him...
[actually i don really noe wad's the real defination of treasure? can anyone tell me specifically?]
But...i realised tat i didn't spend enough quality time with him...

It's the first time someone so close to me
Someone i see everyday
Gone

How i wish he's still sitting on his wooden chair everyday,
Waiting for everyone to be home for dinner at his place,
Waiting to open the gate for everyone...

Half his life...
He's been waiting..

He waited for his kids to grow up
He waited for the next generation, his grandchildren
He waited for time to pass, to pick me up frm sch when i was young...
He waited..
For years..
For so many things..
And...
Finally he don have to wait aymore
His illness sufferings...
Ended...

It's sad...
but mummy says it might not be so bad after all for him
B'coz tati'' help him ease his sufferings..

But still...
How i wish
How i wish
How i wish
That he's there everyday to open the gates for me...

How i wish

How i wish

How i wish

***

The last regret is that i nv get to see him for the last time and tell him i love him...

non of us did...

non of us...

He see non of us at the end...

NON!

ILU granpapa

Like mummy said once again...
perhaps grandpapa wants to end all the waitings earlier too

Well...
i don have the whole world's time...
But i'll try...
I'll try to spend every min and sec of my life thinking and missing the ppl ard me...
Spending every sec with anyone!

So Please don pass me by...
i'll love you...
i hope u'll love me too...

*thinking of someone*
*someone tat i don wanna let go, but i did it, coz it's unfair to him*

I'll be waiting...

[ staring at the walls ]
[ creating his image myself ]
[ imagine him doing his daily routin ]
[ imagine him smiling ]
[ Am i insane? ]
[ no ]
[ i think i'm just not used to not having him around ]